Picking Up The Pieces

These last few months have been full of self loathing and a little bit of self deprecation, i’m going to be blatantly honest with you and myself in saying I still don’t have all the pieces of the puzzle. I will be blatantly honest with you and myself again in saying i’m no longer trying to find them. I’m going to say something in this moment I wish I would have said a long time ago ,”I am tired “. This feels like a shout into the void but I know someones listening and heaven knows it felt so good to get that off my chest. I wish I could say these last few months I’ve been resting among the peonies but I would be lying. So here’s everything: 1. I have no diagnosis but my ovaries are empty , my testosterone is far to high , my pancreas is kicking out twice the amount of insulin why keeping my body balanced . 2. I may not be able to have children , this is emotionally taxing and terrifying really I have prayed for my non existent children for years . I have prayed for their health mentally and physically in a world where society wont always see eye to eye with them. I have prayed , I have cried and begged for there lives to be blessed in abundance for their experiences to not be like mine. Its hard to know they may never exist. 3. To keep myself from crying while typing this I have taken breaks in between. 4. I now have an OBGYN and an endocrinologist and the world has become a lot smaller because one has said no carbs and placed me on a compound birth control and my body feels like its not mine. Meanwhile one is a to be continued because the only thing that has happened is scheduling my appointment so this journey is far from over. 5. I am holding it together just barely , I am sleepy constantly. I  eat more plant base food than actual meat these days trying to eat a 80% plant base and 20% other diet because no carbs was explained to be me as no bread , rice , potatoes and basically anything else that could be a filler because my body has to work harder to process them. 6. So much is changing and its hard to find balance , its hard to feel at peace with my body right now so i’m just striving to make peace with myself. This was everything, something tells me my blog is going to get really personal.

Disney’s Flower and Garden

I’m an annual pass holder at Disney and I absolutely love flowers so Disney’s flower and garden is my favorite part of the year. So this blog post we’re going to take a photowalk through some of Disney’s flower display .

Upon walking in Epcot welcomes you with beautiful butterflies .Daisy Duck is next to say hello and if you walk a bit further ……Goofy says hi !of course goofy wouldn’t leave Pluto behind.Woody made a special appearance at Epcot a bit far from his home in Hollywood studios!

Elsa and Anna were growing beautifully in Germany !

Rabbit, Winnie the Pooh , Tigger , Piglet and Eeyore came from the hundred acre woods to say hello.

I hope you like to dance because these birdies can really sing !

All Disney days require a rest break , our break for the day took place in Epcot’s Japan !

In Epcot’s Japan there is a level of serenity, there’s an art hall that talks about Japanese fashion an cultural advances in the way it ties into art. You can choose to eat at the Japanese steak house or you can have ramen, Epcot’s Japan feels like an escape from the hustle and bustle of Epcot . If you need to rest while at the park I recommend venturing through.

China grew cute and cuddly pandas !

A tribute to Simba sprouted along the walk ways .

Last and certainly not least eat the center of it all was the happiest mouse in town and the prettiest mouse you’ll ever meet.

Thank you for taking a photo walk with me at Disney’s Flower Garden festival.

– My

Well Intended Love

In true Chinese drama fashion this show had its highs and lows , it’s not because it’s a bad show it’s just because they have tropes that include extended misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict . Because they tend to be drawn out over several episodes it can sometimes make this regions dramas hard to watch , however in my opinion “Well Intended Love “ was very engaging . No, it did not abandon its tropes and I believe that the tropes are what separate each region . It kept its tropes it also had a nice viewing pace, it started out fast pace to get into the storyline the two leads meet and begin a relationship of sorts . There is a love triangle that’s that’s more of a love line with consistent interference because of jealousy and an individuals unrequited love, of course you can’t have a romance drama without a little bit of tragedy and chaos . Within in this story there are so many cute moments where you can see a genuine connection with the lead characters in the written friendships and intimate relationships.Truly I enjoyed this drama I recommend it if your looking to get into Chinese dramas this one would be a good place to start . There is supposedly a season 2 in the works and I can’t wait to watch. – My

I Hear You

And ordinary girl meets and extraordinary man with the help of mutual friends, what starts as a show piece gradually turns into something more. The highs and lows of this drama are born out of jealousy however the leads are good about keeping promises and trusting each other. The communication in this drama is clumsy at some points and genuine in others which makes it easy to spot when feelings in this story line become deeper. The drama tropes are alive and well trust me they didn’t disappear but in this story it doesn’t appear to be as many of them . The pace of this Chinese drama is on the slower end so while I enjoyed this drama, this is more suitable for the Chinese drama viewer that’s well seasoned because this would easily cause viewing frustration if your not accustomed to the story pacing. The cute soft hearted moments come few and far between as far as obviously loving moments, the best moments in this drama are more subtle so you have to watch closely. The resolve and end of this drama made me heart eyed, I sincerely hope you enjoy “I Hear You”. – My

Romance is a Bonus Book

The lead actors in this K Drama are Lee Jong-Suk who plays Eun-ho and Lee Na-young who plays Dan-i , although this drama is full of all the tropes we know and love , this one falls into a slightly different category . The age gap in this onscreen relationship is the opposite of the stereotype the woman is older and not only that she’s also a divorced single mom. Dan-i’s backstory made this drama interesting because she’s the difference in the trope. She goes through love and doubt and then she gains hope by speaking with a friend who cares for her and the cycle begins again with the added benefit of loss.

Eun-ho played by Lee Jong-Suk is a man that has only ever loved one woman but she’s only ever seen him as friend , a very dependable friend but a friend none the less. He like Dan-i has had his fair share of love and loss. However unlike Dan-I his Love was unrequited and he emotionally suffered for it but he kept his lips sealed especially when your friendship is solid. Eun-ho is a wildly successful writer , he is also a college professor.Dan-i was a wildly successful marketing specialist, however she gave all of this up to be a wife and mother.

In true K-Drama fashion Dan-i’s background makes her undesirable, however there is an unrequited love looming in the background, the story line of this drama is what happens when an undesirable circumstance meets fate. Fate writes it’s own story ,”Romance is a Bonus Book” is a refreshing twist on a classic K-drama tale of misunderstandings and things unsaid.

– Myriesha

Field Notes On Love

There is something so classic about the way this story is put together , it is sweet and innocent but it also ended in a way that gave the characters a promising ending. Hugo is a young man from England born as 1 or 6 , he is a septuplet! Because of the rarity he is a local celebrity , his mom runs a blog about him and his five siblings. Hugo seems to have everything someone needs to live a happy life but he feels like a he’s lacking individuality. Mae is queen of the passion projects with a very specific medium , film making . Mae prides herself on being open and honest , she’s transparent about everything besides her self and her feelings but with the encouragement of her grandmother that believes in living life to the fullest , one week will change everything.

I loved this story , I loved how just like the first time you fall in love it came in waves but it made a point constantly that communication is the most important thing. This story came from two sides of the same coin ,”falling in love again wouldn’t be the worst thing, even though highly unlikely ” and ” Love doesn’t exist it’s just a temporary emotion, it can’t last” . There was a natural flow of emotions mixed with and innocence that made it impossible not to smile . I encourage you to read ,”Field Notes on Love”. We all have dealt with love and loss an could use a dose of happy. – Myriesha