Hello I Have Anxiety.

No it’s not romantic or beautiful and no I don’t need a man to squeeze me and tell me I’m okay . I like to crush myself beneath my 50 pound gravity blanket and let it rock me to sleep . All these years I thought I had control of it, my chest tighten and my breathing changes and usually I tell myself that I’m okay and everything is fine and it disappears. Well today I was hyperventilating and internally screaming and I had to stop my self , it felt like the air had been knocked out of my lungs , most important was the feeling after , the feeling of defeat . All these years I had control and just like that the air left my lungs and my chest caved and I was no longer the one in charge . There is no secret to anxiety , there is no survival guide or preparedness package. However there is a God who sits high and looks low with a son who hung on a cross for my sins and intercedes on my behalf . Where there is a heaven there is a way , so when these things happen I’m learning to let go and let God . He is my rock even when I an unsteady he is my stability and for that and so many other things I can’t say thank you enough , I am so grateful words aren’t enough. HALLELUJAH! It’s the highest praise . – My

Cant Help Falling In Love

Before I get into this review , this movie is from the Philippines so this movies is in both Tagalog and English  so subtitles are provided at certain times during the film.

I want to start by telling you how cute I found this drama, in the most genuine way this movie put a smile on my face and made me feel like I was falling in love with them in a story book way . If you’ve watched as many foreign shows and movies as I have you will have noticed this trope where there is always some unnecessary conflict that last forever so the story drags on . In this film there is a conflict but its placement is in line with the story and it is not dragging on for ages without resolve , it gets to the point. Gab and Dos aren’t your typical pairing , Gab is a stable career woman with a type “A” personality and she’s already in a relationship with an aspiring lawyer . Dos is charming , he’s not a player but he has a way with the ladies and he’s aware of his impact. During this movie we find out that our suave Dos has a problem that makes him think he has little time left , this complicates things but Dos is still moving foreword in his living despite the clock ticking over his head. Gab felt like she has little control in her life always doing things for the approval of her boyfriend and on a night out with the girls she wanted to be free , to feel like she’s capable of making decisions and she met Dos . Gab is uptight but Dos has the ability to soften her , he taught her how to love and how to let go but will she accept him? you should really watch this movie to find out. I highly recommend it. – Myriesha

Traveling cleansed my cluttered mind

I am no expert in dealing with stress , my anxiety and stress are the same person in my world. However for the first time since starting my job in social work and really all of my working years I used vacation time. I used to think I should save it up for somewhere big and special and then I could go with no worries for however long I chose , but then I would leave my job and all of that saving would be for nothing. So I went to Canada for the first time ever and I saw Quebec City, Ottawa, Montreal , Toronto and Niagara Falls in five days .

I landed in Montreal at 10:15 am , flying in over a beautiful snow blanketed Montreal . It felt like something out of a movie ,we were flying in the fog and clouds so for a while there was nothing to see until the pilot announced we were preparing to land. It didn’t take much longer after that for me to go through customs meet my friend Michelle and go pick up our rental car or our adventure mobile. We started our adventure with a bang , we drove two hours to Ottawa. Our first Canadian meal was BFF or Burgers and Fries Forever. Our burger of choice was the Korean bbq burger with a side of poutine and this started an addiction.

Honestly of all the poutine we consumed this one had the best gravy and it was vegetable gravy go figure. Ottawa being the capital felt appropriate in an unexpected way , it’s not the cleanest city I’ve been to but the buildings in the historical district speak for themselves . Ottawa led to our second addiction of the trip: Tim Hortons , I’m so sad there is not one in Florida because there tea lattes were my life for 5 days . I have a Tim Horton reward card and I’m sad I can’t use it anymore. After spending time in Ottawa we drove back to our Airbnb in Montreal, we rented an apartment and it really became a cozy and comfortable place to come home to after long days of exploring.

On our second day we decided to go on a big adventure we drove 6 hours. Montreal to Niagara Falls and Niagara Falls to Toronto and back to Montreal . It was ambitious but we survived , we listened to a mix of music that included kpop , rock , rap , acoustic and soul and we jammed .

We were underwhelmed by Niagara Falls but it was still so beautiful. I think it all the ice masked some of it beauty but even still it was undeniable, the sun created a rainbow and it added to its beauty it made it impossible not to smile .

We drove on , we crossed the border once again into Ontario. Heading towards Toronto. We ventured to this Korean stationary store , I have a love for overly cute stationary I am the keeper of a happy planner so I can’t help myself . I bought pens and Hello Kitty head rest pillows for my car . When dinner time arrives we decided to stay in the Korean village that night it was so good .We had kimchi fried rice and cheesy tteokbokki as well as eel bibimbap and fried tofu . After that we headed to the mall where I got my Alex and ani “Toronto ” bracelet also visited Drakes store “OVO” . The final thing on our list for Toronto was to take a walk in the city and find the Toronto sign . Mission accomplished.

After a day of a total of 11 driving hours we decided to sleep in and explore Montreal ! , both old and new . I woke up in a winter wonderland , it was snowing and it was stunning. We wanted to have a French meal and really explore the city on foot and that is exactly what we did . We ate breakfast in the apartment, it was a recreation of our left overs and it was great way to start a peaceful day.

One final place to drive to : Quebec City this has to be at the top of my list of favorite places I’ve been. It’s so outlandishly charming its definitely a place you explore on foot. If you go to Quebec you must see its city. We ate really yummy food , traced the foot steps of the Korean drama “Goblin : the lonely great God” . The architecture in the city is something to marvel at , the cobblestone streets and the basilicas. The view from the viewing deck at the top of the city is worth the climb and the footsteps. Truly it is a ruby in this world .

I am completely in love with Canada from Bonjour to Au reviour , it was full of surprises and there was art on what seemed to be every corner . Cafes are abundant and equally delicious . In cities where the primary language was one that I don’t speak , everyone I encountered still communicated with me and I’m so appreciative. Truly Montreal, Ottawa , Quebec City , Toronto and Niagara Falls thank you so much for having me. You were a dream come true and an unforgettable adventure. Thank you for allowing me to leave my foot prints in your beautiful cities . I will see you again . – Myriesha

Saint Valentine Thoughts

Surprisingly this day doesn’t make me feel sad or lonely , rather it makes me day dream and allows me to feel hopeful . It’s crazy to say that I feel like I was made to have a family , no I don’t mean the Cosby’s or Brady Bunch . I realize that as a mother and a wife I will face many hardships because such is life . However I still hope for and aspire to that , one day I want to say that I lived a really good life I was someone’s Mommy and someone’s partner and I had a career and through the ups and the downs we made an amazing team. One day I want to say that my family lived well we laughed hard and loved harder , we sat at the dinner table and spoke to one another . It is said that Valentine’s Day is for lovers but I believe Saint Valentine is for the dreamers , people who believe that in love anything is possible and anything can happen. If you are lonely this holiday I hope that you are not drowning your self in sorrow or loneliness . I hope that you know that better days are ahead of you and that your future will be better than your past . One day you will look back on these days and wonder how you became so happy . Remember that Valentine’s Day isn’t just for the lovers , the dreamers can enjoy this day too. – Myriesha

When The Time Is Right

I’ve been mulling over my desire to be a wife and a mommy and the feeling of loneliness while waiting for my other half. I’m not saying that I’m ready for everything that comes with marriage and motherhood but I’m looking forward to that part of my life and all it’s challenges . My dream is to be a mommy and a wife doing the best I can and still maintain happiness . The ultimate goal is to give my children and life they don’t have to heal from and to find a man I can spend the rest of my life with constantly growing and evolving together to be able to say “even though it’s hard right now , I’d still choose you everytime “. My faith in God is why I’m in no rush , I know that when the time is right God will send me my husband and after that if God sees fit he will bless me with children of my own. What I’m saying is that it’s okay to have the desire to be a wife and mother but don’t rush into a situation because that’s what you want as your end goal . Wait on Gods blessing , wait for God to say its time so that every step along the way goodness and mercy follows you. All good things happen in Gods time and the bible says “He who finds a wife finds himself a good thing .”- Myriesha

This Job Is Mine , What God Has For Me Is For Me

This is what has been running through my head since I was abundantly blessed with a job interview that led to my new job. God is in the blessing business and even though he hears billions of prayers every hour of everyday he still heard me and blessed me with an opportunity to do something big. My heart is overflowing with joy and this indescribable gratefulness , I am so grateful to God for blessing me with this opportunity. I’m so happy in fact that it feels like a dream and it feels to good to be true and I am so very terrified that something will go wrong and this opportunity will be taken from me , I’m trying to keep my sanity and I’m relying on my faith whenever I get a negative thought I start singing gospel or I pray and repeat in my mind “This job is mine, what God has for me is for me and no one can take away what God has blessed me with”. I repeat this over and over until the negative disappears and all that remains is my joy and my gratefulness. I will keep praising God Because without him I don’t know where I would be. – My

Song of the moment. : My God Is Awesome