I’m finding myself envious these days .

I’m working ( I do social work) I’m sitting on the beach with one of my family’s and there are children and couples all around enjoying each other’s company . Then there’s me dressed for work in solitude and sometimes I find myself envious of there happiness and I know that everything that glitters isn’t gold you have to work for that happiness. I find myself thinking about working with someone for that happiness and sharing our joy with each other and it seems so peaceful . It’s crazy to say this but even at 25 years young I feel so ready to settle down . I love to travel but I would be open to having a travel partner and experiencing the beauty of the world together. Even in this envious state seeing all the family brings me so much joy so maybe one day I’ll be blessed with my own . – Myriesha

Hello I Have Anxiety.

No it’s not romantic or beautiful and no I don’t need a man to squeeze me and tell me I’m okay . I like to crush myself beneath my 50 pound gravity blanket and let it rock me to sleep . All these years I thought I had control of it, my chest tighten and my breathing changes and usually I tell myself that I’m okay and everything is fine and it disappears. Well today I was hyperventilating and internally screaming and I had to stop my self , it felt like the air had been knocked out of my lungs , most important was the feeling after , the feeling of defeat . All these years I had control and just like that the air left my lungs and my chest caved and I was no longer the one in charge . There is no secret to anxiety , there is no survival guide or preparedness package. However there is a God who sits high and looks low with a son who hung on a cross for my sins and intercedes on my behalf . Where there is a heaven there is a way , so when these things happen I’m learning to let go and let God . He is my rock even when I an unsteady he is my stability and for that and so many other things I can’t say thank you enough , I am so grateful words aren’t enough. HALLELUJAH! It’s the highest praise . – My