I’m preparing for my next big adventure, the farthest west I’ve ever traveled and by the title you’ve guessed correctly I’m going to Los Angeles California . I’ve never traveled this far west and I’m teaming with excitement . I’m not sure what to expect but I am prepared for it all , when I get ready to go somewhere new I use it as my opportunity to reflect on where I’ve been and what I have yet to see. In the midst of my excitement is how beautiful this world really is and how grateful I am that I am blessed to see it . If someone would have told me that one day I would get on a plane and fly to Quebec I would tell you that you were living inside my dreamscape in my wildest dream I never imagined . It is with this same heart I will journey LA full of excitement and humbled to live the life I do.
Along with preparing to go on vacation I’ve been playing with the foods I eat , when I was a teenager I was diagnosed with gastritis as a result I have flare ups with terrible abdominal pain so I’m attempting to make majority of my diet plant based . I am cooking constantly and discovering many new and yummy foods along the way . As of now I’m still consuming all the bad foods on the weekend but as I adapt I plan to cut down eventually down to only almond and soy milk. There has been a slightly noticeable difference in my skin , the more veggies I eat my skin clears up and also I’m not starving and I was so sure at some point I would be. Along with the constant cooking is constant trips to the produce market. This definitely is a lifestyle change however I’ve been feeling so good I figure keep going.
No it’s not romantic or beautiful and no I don’t need a man to squeeze me and tell me I’m okay . I like to crush myself beneath my 50 pound gravity blanket and let it rock me to sleep . All these years I thought I had control of it, my chest tighten and my breathing changes and usually I tell myself that I’m okay and everything is fine and it disappears. Well today I was hyperventilating and internally screaming and I had to stop my self , it felt like the air had been knocked out of my lungs , most important was the feeling after , the feeling of defeat . All these years I had control and just like that the air left my lungs and my chest caved and I was no longer the one in charge . There is no secret to anxiety , there is no survival guide or preparedness package. However there is a God who sits high and looks low with a son who hung on a cross for my sins and intercedes on my behalf . Where there is a heaven there is a way , so when these things happen I’m learning to let go and let God . He is my rock even when I an unsteady he is my stability and for that and so many other things I can’t say thank you enough , I am so grateful words aren’t enough. HALLELUJAH! It’s the highest praise . – My
Surprisingly this day doesn’t make me feel sad or lonely , rather it makes me day dream and allows me to feel hopeful . It’s crazy to say that I feel like I was made to have a family , no I don’t mean the Cosby’s or Brady Bunch . I realize that as a mother and a wife I will face many hardships because such is life . However I still hope for and aspire to that , one day I want to say that I lived a really good life I was someone’s Mommy and someone’s partner and I had a career and through the ups and the downs we made an amazing team. One day I want to say that my family lived well we laughed hard and loved harder , we sat at the dinner table and spoke to one another . It is said that Valentine’s Day is for lovers but I believe Saint Valentine is for the dreamers , people who believe that in love anything is possible and anything can happen. If you are lonely this holiday I hope that you are not drowning your self in sorrow or loneliness . I hope that you know that better days are ahead of you and that your future will be better than your past . One day you will look back on these days and wonder how you became so happy . Remember that Valentine’s Day isn’t just for the lovers , the dreamers can enjoy this day too. – Myriesha